It has been 7 months since my last knee surgery, and I’m finally able to go running outside. It has been a slow process, but each week I can go a little longer and a little faster with less pain. I really enjoy interval running where I walk for a minute and then run for a minute off and on. When I am interval running outside I will use land marks and tell myself to run to the stop sign or mailbox ahead.
Now that I am learning how to run all over again, I am noticing that I cannot keep my eyes on the landmark. Rather, I cannot keep my eyes on my destination. Before, I would shut out the world and lock eyes with my destination as I sprinted toward it. I would motivate myself in my head by thinking, “keep going, don’t give up, run harder, you can make it”. This concept worked well when I had the strength to handle unexpected impact.
But now things are different. During my first attempt at jogging around my neighborhood, I was overthinking my form and probably looked like a baby camel taking its first steps on its long awkward legs. Once I was a few minutes into it, I reverted to my interval jogging mentality where I focus on my destination.
But soon after I started jogging I stepped on uneven pavement and my knee cap slipped and felt very unstable. I kept jogging but quickly realized that I had to focus on the next step ahead of me. I had to focus on my form, how I placed my feet on the ground, and any obstacles that could come with my next step. This was different for me because It is so much more motivating to focus on my destination rather than the individual steps it takes to get there.
Then it dawned on me, that is exactly the way I feel in life right now. Now that I have graduated from college, I feel overwhelmed with anxiety that I don’t know what lies ahead. I don’t know where my destination is and it is so frustrating and discouraging to focus on one day at a time because of that. I would feel way more at ease if I knew what my destination looked like. And there are times in life when we can set a destination, make a goal and clearly see the steps it takes to achieve it. Unfortunately, I am not in that season of life right now.
What do we do if we aren’t equipped at the starting line with what we need to make it to the finish line? What if we don’t know what we are running toward?
Well this is what I found to be true. “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough troubles of its own.” Matthew 6:34. How many times have we read this verse or seen it on social media but didn’t receive the depth it holds? How many times do we continue to worry about our destination instead of trusting God every step of the way?
Many of us want the answers, and we want them now. I am learning that if we were given the answers, the idea of faith and trust would be unnecessary. As a chronic worrier, I realize that I must constantly remind myself to trust God with my today as well as my tomorrow. I cannot worry about tomorrow, or a month from now, or even a year from now. I was not created to worry about all of that.
Therefore, I must ask God to forgive me when I fail to trust in him, and help me to let go of my fear, worry, and control. I want to live a life of joy and peace, and Jesus offers me that freedom if I choose to trust him. So, we don’t always get the answers, but we do get a savior. Are you trusting God with your today as well as your tomorrow?